


King of Oblivion

by hesonlytiny



Series: The King Saga [1]
Category: MY FIRST STORY (Band), coldrain (Japanese Band)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Break Up, Fuckbuddies, M/M, Mild S&M, Power Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-10-06 16:06:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10338628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hesonlytiny/pseuds/hesonlytiny
Summary: Up until now, he hadn’t even thought about him being more than a fuck.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I’m German. So, like, you’ll probably see a few mistakes here and there. If that doesn't frighten you, please go on~ I’d even be glad about criticism and correction! Have fun! ♥

It had been going on now for quite a while already. No one knew besides us. And God knows, I felt terrible about it. Not even about all the lies and secrecy. I think it was he who suffered the most under all of it, even though he tried his best not to let it show.

You’d think I was old enough to know better, to let it burn out and search for someone who was more my age; more a match for me. But you see, I was indeed kind of a selfish person. And being with him was nice. It felt good. There weren’t any obligations or rules. And maybe I would end it sooner or later. But right now, he made me high on such a wonderful level no woman or groupie could ever make me. He admired me; my look and my skills. And this coming from a fellow musician, it was indeed a very nice compliment to hold onto. 

Leaning back in my chair in the backstage room, I fumbled out my phone and paused for a short moment before typing in my pin and opening our line conversation. It was after the concert and the adrenaline of the past show was slowly subsiding in our bodies. The sweat was still as thick on our skin as the air was sticky and full of cold cigarette smoke. It was then when I thought about him the most. Or rather, about his body and the sex we had. Jesus, he only just turned 23. But maybe that was the factor that made him so awfully interesting to me. He did everything I told him to. And he loved it with every fibre of his sweating body.

»I want you tonight. Fancy turning up at the hotel at 11?«

I faintly smiled on the inside. I knew he wouldn’t refuse. He’d be there, dead on time at 11 pm. He will close the door and no sooner will he claw at my clothes and slide down my body to suck my cock.

“Oi, Masato. You coming with us? Going out for a beer or two.”

I looked up to meet Ryo’s questioning gaze and shrugged. “I’m kinda beat, guys. I think I will go to bed early tonight. How about tomorrow?”

I think they’d noticed I wasn’t quite my old self these days. At least seemingly not as energetic as always. Maybe they cared and maybe not. But I was sure they weren’t suspecting anything like that. And they’d better not find out.

»I will be there. «

 

***

 

The way he always discreetly showed up in front of my hotel room, coming and going like a cautious cat, twisted my insides and already made me long for more. I didn’t even have to check if it was him; he always knocked exactly four times. Shyness and reluctance mixed with confidence which seemed weirdly out of place. 

He slipped inside when I opened the door, wearing a mischievous poker face, and just as I had predicted, he clung to me the second the door was shut. I grinned and let him kiss and bite my neck, let his long, slender fingers slide under my shirt, claw at the fabric of my tight jeans. He was such a good, little fuck.

“Hiro-Chan,” I whispered sweetly, grabbed his white hair and yanked him up to my face so he could look me in the eye. My grip was firm and I could have easily thrown him to the ground, it might have hurt a little, but I knew he loved every single moment. “I want you to suck my cock. Nice and deep. Can you do that for me?”

He looked me up and down while I grazed his lips with my fingertip. Amazing blowjob lips. And I knew they looked so fucking pretty stretched around my dick. I couldn’t wait any longer, so I shoved him to his knees before he could even answer and opened my trousers, getting out my already hard cock.

One could not even hope to understand the beauty of this sight before me. His big, dark eyes and pouty lips right under my rock hard, straight dick. I gently sifted through his soft hair the moment he held onto my hips. And when he actually began to lick my tip, everything in me tightened up and I let my head fall back with a long sigh. My dick twitched and stroked his cheek, I knew he liked it. He licked my whole length up and down with pleasure before letting it enter his mouth. 

He then knew what was coming and I’m sure he looked forward to it. My fingers first gently brushing through his hair then formed a fist, I could hear him breath heavily. A sigh of pleasure and pain all at once as I grabbed his hair harder and shoved me inside. He took me in as easily as one might expect from a whore. But in truth, of course it hadn’t been this easy at first. But we both wanted it harder and dirtier and he loved being used. 

His pretty eyes were closed now, only a light shimmer of tears on the outsides framing them. It was the most amazing thing, being all the way inside his mouth and throat. Watching my cock vanish inside him right up to my balls. I groaned loudly and began to move; held him in place while I thrusted my hips forward. If Taka knew that I was fucking his little brother …

His fingers were loose around my hips now, he clearly didn’t know where to put them and I could see his own boner in his jeans. It wasn’t as big as mine. I had the advantage of being half American after all, my cock was thick and larger than average. He had once told me that it turned him on so much. Having this big cock in him, no matter how. 

My moans matched his heavy breaths. I knew he’d love to touch himself while I fucked his mouth. And even though my mind was already growing cloudy and the words wouldn’t quite leave my tongue, I told him to get out his cock, which he gladly obeyed with shaky hands and reluctantly began to pump it. 

His tongue felt amazing on the underside of my cock and his throat was tight and wet. By now, I was yanking his head forward by his hair as well, my thrusts were so fast that I knew it’d hurt him tomorrow and he’ll most likely only bring out croaky sounding words. Good thing they weren’t touring right now. 

“Fuck,” I then breathed out, I knew it wouldn’t take much longer. “I’m coming.” This was better than anything else I had had with any other woman before him. I loved using him. He made me come so fast and easily and with such intensity. 

When I had shot my load, he had swallowed and the twinkling lights behind my closed eyelids had stopped moving, I got my dick out of his mouth and he took a few deep, shaky breaths. His hand and part of the floor was shining with his own cum. I stroked his head once silently and looked for some tissues I could give him.

“When will you leave?”

“Is that the only thing you can think of after I’ve sucked your cock?”

I chuckled and shook my head, getting out a sake bottle and pouring us two drinks. “Sorry, wasn’t my intention to sound like that. I just wanted to know if you have to leave soon or not.”

“Actually, yes, I do.”

“Well, then,” I sighed, shoving the glass in his hand while simultaneously sitting down on the edge of the hotel bed. He still stood there, kind of lost, in the middle of the room. He was kind of unusually tense today, more so than all the other times and it made me worry; made me reject his gaze and stare down at the clear fluid in the glass; taking a long sip. 

“Don’t you think this has been going on long enough now?”

I bit my lip then, and even though it hurt, I tried looking him in the eye. I hadn’t taken him for anyone who could be so thoroughly honest. But I saw in his face that it took him everything he had. Damn me, I never even considered the possibility of him being the one who ended this thing we had. 

The afterglow of my orgasm had vanished in the blink of an eye.

“Yes. I mean, for several months now, I think.”

“I can’t do this anymore, Masato. Not like this.”

I swallowed hard and after a short thought, I put down my drink and walked up to him. Playing the loving, understanding part after sex was something I had always been good at. But this time, however, I felt like it merely seemed desperate. I touched his cheek lightly and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “But don’t you like our sex?”

“I do. You know I do,” he spluttered with a weirdly low voice. “But that’s not enough for me anymore. I don’t want secret meetings in hotel rooms and silent fucks that don’t mean anything.”

His body was so close to me and the heat radiating from him stroked my skin so gently I wanted to lean in even farther. There was no way I could save our affair at this point it seemed. Maybe I had gone too far. And maybe, only maybe, had I lied to myself all this time. “So what do you want instead? You know we can’t tell the world we fuck. Jesus, just think about your family. Your father and Taka will flip out.”

“I don’t want to tell the world that ‘we fuck’. I wanna fucking tell them that we love each other.”

I flinched and pulled back. I was not even full Japanese; I could handle honesty and straightforwardness. But this time, it concerned me on a whole different level. My heart began to pound loudly in my chest and I only now grasped the full meaning of this situation. He wanted an answer. An answer to a question that had never even been asked before. Fair enough, it had always lingered somewhat silently between us. But I’d never considered, never even thought of it … He and me, in a relationship? 

“Love is a big word, Hiroki. I’m not sure it’s ‘love’.”

“So are you saying I’m nothing more than a fuck to you? I’m sorry, please be honest even if it’s hard. I just want to hear the truth.”

I sighed and fumbled with my fingers while I tried to hold onto the wild running thoughts inside my head. I didn’t know. I simply didn’t know because I’d been avoiding asking myself this question. I was happy enough just to see him here and there, have him squirm underneath my body in ecstasy on white, fresh sheets. It was comfortable; convenient even. Nothing more. I had never intended this to be anything more.

But at this point? Just a few words were enough to end all this. Hiro’s glance was desperate but surprisingly determined at the same time. And suddenly, I was so shocked to learn that I was not ready to let him go just yet. 

“What do you even think?” I mumbled, gaze turned downwards and one of my hands faintly grabbing one of his. “We couldn’t even announce one of us being in a normal relationship just like that. But we’re both well-known, we’re both guys. You’re … so young.”

“Okay. I don’t really wanna tell the world just yet, you know. But … I want you to make a decision. I want you to tell me whether I’m more than a fuck to you or not. Whether you want me to be more than a fuck. Because I know I do, Masato. I want to be more than that.”

If I had known what would happen today … I didn’t know if I would have done anything differently.

“I need time to think, Hiroki … This isn’t something I can decide so lightly right now. If anything, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

A few weeks ago, I probably would have laughed about the things I’d said just now. I wouldn’t have thought that I actually meant any of this. But right now, just as I was uttering out those words with hot ears, I knew I meant them. This was brand new territory for me. Of course I’d had relationships. A few long and a lot of very short ones. But of course, never with another guy; never with another celebrity; never with someone who was as young as he was. Right now, I didn’t want to think of any consequences. 

“Is that alright with you?”

My hand slid up his arm then, right up to his cheek where it lingered on his soft, warm skin. Jesus, how could someone like him make me feel all this? I saw him thinking; contemplating if it was, in fact, alright with him. And before he could reply, I dashed forward and pressed my lips to his. I guess we were both pretty surprised by my actions. His first instinct then wasn’t to kiss back but to inhale sharply. It was weird feeling those full lips, which I’ve only ever seen around my cock, now grazing my own. They were soft and his breath tickled my skin and all I could think of was to get him closer to me. So I grabbed his waist; his back; his neck. Everything not at all and all at once and pressed him closer to me and myself closer to him. My fingers in his hair then, I licked his lips and moved my own. I could feel his heat and hear his heartbeat. Or was it mine? I felt so high.

When we parted, we stayed like this for a little while; foreheads pressed against another and heavy breaths colliding. Eyes closed. Heartbeats in our fingertips. I waited for him to say something.

“Don’t you know your answer now? That was our first kiss. You’ve never kissed me before.”

“I know.”

I knew he was as intoxicated as I was. It would have been so easy. Just to say yes and try it. Yes, I wanted him. Maybe I’d always wanted him. But the words leaving my mouth claimed different.

“I like you, Hiro. I really do. But please give me some time to think.”

I knew it disappointed him, especially after our shared kiss. Maybe especially now. We both knew it had meant something special. And maybe that was why he then freed himself from my embrace; taking a short second to look me in the eye and then to the ground. “I don’t think I can do that. If you were as determined as I am, you wouldn’t have to think about it. And I don’t want to be plan B.”

I was paralysed while he grabbed his things and all I could do was to stare at him; see him leaving. “I’m sorry, Hiroki. I’ll message you, okay?”

He took a last look at me before opening the door and disappearing into the hallway. Didn’t even say ‘goodbye’. It didn’t take a genius to know that I’d made a grand mistake. And I knew I would be blaming myself. But maybe it really was for the best. He would find someone more suitable for him and so would I. 

It hurt. It hurt like shit. But it had went on long enough now.


End file.
